REVIEW: X-Men: Apocalypse

     "Mutants are very real.  We must know who they are, and above all, we must know what they can do."  It's been sixteen years since that phrase kicked off the marketing campaign for the original X-Men film, which in turn kicked off the massive superhero film craze that's been dominating cinema screens ever since.  X-Men: Apocalypse can be seen as a third, sixth, or ninth film in the X-franchise, depending on how you view the series.  It's the third of the 'semi-prequel' Origins series, the sixth overall main X-Men movie, and the ninth in that particular universe, when factoring in the two stand-alone Wolverine movies and Deadpool.

   So this is a franchise with some legs under it, in other words.  Let's take a look:

The Good

    X-Men: Apocalypse (XA) is set in 1983, continuing the trend of these newer X-films by jumping ahead ten years from the previous entry.  In one scene, several of the characters leave a showing of Return of the Jedi, and have a conversation that goes a little bit meta, in which they discuss the virtues of first, second, and third entries in a movie trilogy.  The conversation is nominally about Star Wars, but it's clear that director Bryan Singer is being oh-so-cute, as the characters are actually referencing the original X-Men trilogy.  Jean Grey has a line to the effect of "Well, we can all agree the third is the weakest".  This little bit of smirking smugness is a reference to the much-derided third film in that series, which was the only one Singer did not direct, and which has been largely precluded by the time-traveling effects of the most recent X-film, Days of Future Past (also directed by Singer).   However, there's a presumably unintended bit of irony in play in this dialogue, as Jean has pretty accurately summed up the state of this prequel trilogy at the same time.

The Bad

    X-Men: Apocalypse is not a good film.  It's not necessarily a bad film either, but it is by far the weakest of the new trilogy.   Much of the dialogue is banal - perhaps a side effect of the film being thrown into production immediately upon the release of its predecessor.   It is absolutely packed with characters, many of whom are there for no discernible purpose or are thrown in for the hell of it.  The movie jumps all over the place, and very few of the characters are given adequate development or even explanation.  There are sixteen principle characters in the story, and a few other minor ones, and in trying to get them all shoehorned in, Singer comes close to giving the audience whiplash, flying back and forth between them, and as a result giving far too many short shrift.   Angel and Psylocke are particular casualties, as they have little dialogue and no character exposition; their only function in the film is too look (admittedly) cool in battle sequences.

     It's also pretty clear that the continuity of these movies has become somewhat disposable, which is not necessarily a problem, but relies on the audience having to make a number of assumptions.  The way XA ends has a nice bit of resonance circling back to the ending of the original movie, but the actions of at least one of the major characters, possibly two, make the premise of the first film seem unlikely to play out in the same way.   So who's to say even X1 and X2 happened the way we'd originally seen?  Most of the changes can be explained away, but we would have to assume that certain characters, like Jubilee or Angel, must have been born at earlier times in this revised timeline.

    All that said, XA has one enormous, glaring, movie-thrashing problem with it, a problem that makes the entire film suffer.

    That problem?  In a word:  Apocalypse.

The Ugly.  Alas, poor Isaac.  I knew him, Magneto.

   In the comics, Apocalypse is an incredibly powerful, deadly character, born in ancient Egypt, powered by alien technology, and determined to create a world order driven by a survival-of-the-fittest philosophy with mutants vying for supremacy over an enslaved or extinct human population.  He is the overlord of one of the most famous X-Men stories of all time, the year long epic "Age of Apocalypse".  He's a nigh-unstoppable megalomaniac whose presence, more than any other X-foe, causes the protagonists nightmares.

   In this film?  He's a melodramatic blue goofball with a propensity for graphic design.

   Oscar Isaac, the fantastic up-and-coming actor most recently seen in Star Wars: the Force Awakens, is all but unrecognizable as the titular villain, whose voice is heavily modulated and whose costume and makeup are just...silly.  I appreciate that Singer tried to give us a comics-accurate look for the character, but the X-films have been somewhat more visually grounded, and designing Apocalypse the way they did makes the villain seem cartoony.  In close-ups, it's all too clear that Isaac is wearing makeup.   He bellows at the drop of a hat, he repeats himself an awful lot, and he comes across not so much as evil as he does...cranky.

     What's worse, though, is that his plans and powers are all rather nebulous.  The movie establishes his age and level of powers well enough, but his technology -somewhat key to the plot - is never explained or even touched upon, and his big plan appears to be the rather stale "let's destroy everything and start over"...as Eddie Izzard would call it, the "Etch-a-Sketch Ending of the World".  I counted two offhand bits of dialogue where he alluded to his 'only the strong survive' credo, and they're throwaway lines - and he comes across as a less of a character and more of a big 'ol plot device.  His appearance, demeanor, and lack of gravitas makes him lack all menace, even with his power levels.  The film wants us to understand that he's really, really dangerous, but frankly he comes across as a dork on steroids.  When the entire movie is built around the premise that this is an omega-level threat, it trivializes the whole thing and makes much of the action seem rather specious.

Apocalypse's main gripe in this movie can, in all seriousness, be summed up as "You damn kids, get off my lawn!"

   The movie's not without its good points, though...in fact, there are a lot of moments within the film that are enormously fun.  In fact, most of the time when the camera's not on Apocalypse, the movie's quite enjoyable, even if it is sloppy and crowded.  The action sequences are all incredible, and the score and look of the film are otherwise top-notch.  The opening credits, traveling through time via the usual inner workings of Cerebro, are particularly cool.  The lighter tone of this movie does allow for some flexibility in the costume design of the characters, and much as X-Men First Class featured movie versions of the classic blue and yellow basic X-costumes, so does XA offer cinematic takes on some of the more distinctive outfits from the comics.  The final scene of the film is actually a bit of welcome fan-service in that regard.  Psylocke, in particular, looks like she walked right off the pages of the comic.

   The cast is decent - the returning actors are all solid; Michael Fassbender's Magneto is, as always, a particular highlight and has the best emotional arc.  I understand that Jennifer Lawrence's rising star has led to a greater amount of attention on Mystique, but I have to say that Mystique-as-hero is still somewhat disconcerting from a comics background.   I enjoyed the new actors playing youthful versions of the heroes we've already seen as adults: Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, Kodi Smit-McPhee and Alexandra Shipp as Cyclops, Jean Grey, Nightcrawler and Storm, respectively.  Their presence gave the movie a bit of flavor from the X-Men Evolution cartoon, and a welcome jolt of energy. 

Strangely, there are a LOT of blue characters in this movie.

   As much as I wanted to enjoy this film, especially as I've really liked the X-Men franchise overall, I can't help but feel that XA comes across as rushed, sloppy, and over-the-top.  There are certainly elements to like, but in general the film is something of a letdown, particularly in coming after two such thoroughly enjoyable entries.  I suspect that Bryan Singer, who comes across as glib and self-satisfied in interviews, may be falling into the 'Lucas trap' in overestimating his own abilities, and is therefore not working as hard or carefully as he could or should.  Too much of this movie is shallow or phoned in; it lacks diligence and craft, and it's not his usual caliber of work.

  Still, the X-Men universe marches forward.  This movie does have a post-credits scene which presumably heralds the now-in-production Wolverine 3 (and which teases a character I have very, very much wanted to see on screen ever since the X-Men films began), and we can also look forward to Deadpool 2, a Gambit film, and The New Mutants, which will presumably be the sequel to XA.  But at the moment, Jean Grey has proven to be correct.

   The third film is the weakest.

FINAL RATING: 5 PAWS (OUT OF 10):